20 Tell-tale Summer Signs
By Aby Yap
Because ‘tis the season you dread (Ouch, the heat!) in the UAE, and look forward to in Pinas (Oh, the beach!) here are the signs that summer is in full swing, whichever side of the global barrio you are in –
- Everyone gets hot-headed and annoying, including you, and your dialog every hour especially if you’re outdoors is “Angineeet,<insert curse here>!”
- You find yourself invariably dreaming about halo-halo, mais/saba con yelo, ice cream/drop/candy/buko/tubig, or samalamig. Forget brain freeze.
- You think of kumikitangkabuhayan by selling all of the above because that’s what everybody wants. You could be a millionaire, too.
- In Pinas, malls become the masses’ haven on Earth. Free A/C, anyone? Movie houses become the masses’ bedroom. Pay P200+, and you can sleep and snore away!
- You suddenly miss the finale of every Palibhasa Lalake episode when they’d throw buckets of water at the guests.
- Public transportation gets more challenging as you brave the unspeakable stench and sweat of your co-passengers amid the everyday traffic chaos.
- Longganisa or sausage fashion strikes again since most people believe that summer gives you the right to wear sexy even if you’re not.
- The shortest shorts in the history of womankind, which we shall call the paknapak shorts, are on display on the streets. Worn by our sisters, of course. Kahit bawal! Pasaway much?
- Your Facebook becomes a Bodybook. On your News Feed are shameless-full-body shots of your contacts in bikinis and trunks. To unfollow or to unfriend, that is the question.
- Mom furiously delivers a one-hour sermon to the entire household once she receives the electricity bills.
- Surprise, surprise! Couples stop being clingy because they’re all sticky. Now, that’s one good thing you can benefit from the heat.
- Sunblock and whitening lotions are nearly out of stock. Remember, Filipinos aspire to be the fairest of them all.
- You need a good umbrella to fight off the sun and the slimmest possibility of getting darks-skinned (again).
- A long-lasting deodorant is on your must-have list, along with your summer OOTD.
- You can’t go out without a stylish pair of sunglasses for your selfies with #japorms.
- Taking a bath three times a day is a requirement. Anything less than that is a crime against humanity.
- Boracay and Baguio win hands down as the places to be in Pinas, where you’ll find most of your kin and chums.
- All resorts, even hot springs, are full. But why you’d want to swim in boiling water during summer remains a mystery.
- You must go easy on sisig, lechon, chicharon, and everything else that can shoot up your high blood pressure.
- Finally, you count the days until the cool weather comes, but then you realize summer isn’t so bad after all.
What makes the Pinoy tick? Aby Yap’s long-running column “Onli in Da Pilipins” often answers that question. She talks about artistas, the pabebe, and the familiar Pinoy life, turning it into something fun and extraordinary. With a talent for finding every Juan’s funny bone, Aby’s wit and obvious affection makes the Filipino a whole lot more lovable.