The Annie B. Chronicles: Bloody Blind Date

BLOODY BLIND DATE

The Annie B. (Batobalani) Chronicles

The adventures and misadventures of a ‘not so average’ Pinay trying to make it in the cosmopolitan city of Dubai

After Ashton, my DOM Pinoy Valentine date never returned my phone calls, text messages and emails after our romantic Eyeball – Ang labo mo, Ashton! Sorry ka na lang…It’s not my loose, it’s your lost!!! – my boss set me up in a blind date. This time with a British guy – yes. White leghorn na itu – Dizzizit!!!!

So the blind date was all set – 8pm at the Noodle House, Emirates Towers. I take it as a good signs that he likes Asian food- that’s already 100 pogi points for trying to please me. After a night of practicing my British accent, I got all dressed up and went to the Emirates Towers to meet my blind date. When I arrive at the Noodle House, there he was, tall, very white. He is maybe I think around 50 years old. I am not bothered by his age – I like mature men – they are more stable in life you know. 

“Eh-nnie? Eh-nnie Batow-bah-lo-nnie is that you. How’ya doing, Luv?”

“Oh, I’m bloody fine thank you and you – how bloody are you?”

“I’m starving! Why don’t we get to our seats and have dinner now? We’re just right on schedule…(British pronounciation)”

While ordering our food, I noticed they don’t have Palabok and Lomi and even Bihon –what kind of Noodle House is this?  Even Spaghetti they don’t have!!! Eh diba puro noodles ang mga yun? Haayyy….Cooper ordered Nasi Goreng.

“My favorite dish!” He said. “I spent almost twenty years all around Southeast Asia, ya’know? I’ve already been to Hongkong, China, Ja-pen, K-ree-yeh, Viet-num, Cum-bow-dyah, Tay-lend, Boh-lee, and of course, Mah-nee-luh…” Cooper said.

“Oh, I’ve also been to Hongkong…for a stopover!!!”  Akala nya sya lang ang well traveled noh? Pasiklaban ko din nga.

Anyway, I thought Nasi Goreng will be something special – eh hallerrr, Tapsilog lang pala yun! As for me, I got Broccoli with Oyster Sauce as appetizer – para pa-girl – and Type Pad Noodles.  I’m so hungry I quickly finished my broccoli. But again, I got disappointed – my noodles were very spicy! My armpits began to sweat – minus 50 points itu!

“Are you ow-kay, Luv?” Cooper asked.

“To tell you the truth, no…I don’t like the food here. My food is very spicy. I might paint if I continue to finish this…” I complained to him.

Since Cooper is very understanding. I thought of a way to make him feel thank you-ed. “Come, I’ll bloody take you to a real noodle house!” I suggested.

So we got into his car – a Land Rovers 4×4, sey mo? And I gave him direction towards Deira. Minutes later, we arrived at – wherelse – but the pride of the Philippine’s fine dining here in Dubai – Chowking!!!!

So while the kabayans stared at us – Inggit lang sila ako may date na puti. Eh ano kung para akong tarsier sa tindi ng kapit ko sa date ko? – we had a grand time feasting on Pancit Canton Chopseuy, Fried Tilapia, Kare-kare and my ever favorites – Buchi and Chicharap!

However, as I continued to tell Cooper the story of my life while eating Chopseuy and Kare-kare, I noticed that he wasn’t paying attention – he just kept looking at my mouth. Maybe I’m so kissable lips? Hindi ba sya makapag hintay? After eating, I thought we will still be bar-hopping but he said he will have to take a rain check. I told him no need to check the rain because it doesn’t rain in Dubai.  But he decided to call it a night.  He drove me home and even before I could give him a goodnight kiss, he quickly ran away in his 4×4. Bakeet???

ANNIE B_DATE lo

All this time, I kept in thinking, “what went wrong?” Was I too hot? Was I too beautiful for him? I thought Dizzizit na talaga – but he never returned any of my calls and texts.  Men – lulu at lili (lulubog at lilitaw).

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