The Annie B. Chronicles: “Pitness Preak”

March 14, 2017

“Pitness Preak”

The Annie B. (Batobalani) Chronicles

The adventures and misadventures of a ‘not so average’ Pinay trying to make it in the cosmopolitan city of Dubai

Summer is here na talaga! Time to put my purr coat and velvet knee high boots to rest and increase my lotion’s SPF – 15 may not be enough for my bukid-bred skin – so the higher the fairier! But since I got here in Dubai, I noticed that I’ve added a lot of pounds already. Now how do I fit again into my summer skinny clothes without looking like a suman? This dilemma is the reason I decided to sign up and join the popular gym – Pitness Pirst.

Based on experience, I learned that to be able to stand out, you must be surrounded by oldies and the fatties. That way, litaw ka sa iilan lang na bata and obese. Most of the people who visit the gym during the mornings are the wranglers (gu-wrang) and the fatness firsts – those who are serious about fitness, since they really dedicate time and effort into being healthy. While around 10am upto 3pm, the treadmills and aero classes because of their free time and boredom.

During the night, after office hours beginning at 5:30pm, the cute and physically fit guys start to arrive and display their hardworked bodies while flirting with girls of their same types. It is a big mistake to work out during this time if you don’t posses a Jennifer Lopez figure because all the guys around you already have their six-pack abs winking at all the sexy girls inside the gym. You wouldn’t want to be seen sweating like a pig with your tongue out while gasping for your last breath among gorgeous guys habang nakikipag-patintero ka sa treadmill, div ah?

Therefore my Pitness Pirst schedule will be like this: super work out in the morning before coming to the office. This way I can take my shower at the gym – tipid sa tubig from my flat, wala pang pila-pila for my turn, di vah? And after office hours, go back to the gym para dumispley at mag-pa-cute sa mga boys –ahihihihihihihihi!

So dizzizit!!! To my spaghetti strapped tops, tube and mini skirt – see you in a few weeks as Annie B. goes back to the fashion scene with her summer outfits. May my fairy gadmadir help me in this battle of divulge – I hope that my workouts be fun-filled and pain-free. Not to worry though, as my other friends, Salonpas and Alaxan, are always on standby. And sana may bonus na one cute guy with this battle of divuldge. Pang-consuelo de bobo man lang – pero sana naman smart, funny and witty sya. Please fairy gadmadir help me and I will do the rest. As they say, “No fain, No Glory.”